Men will be men

Once I accompanied my wife to a very big shop Near Mount Road in Chennai, who specialize in selling stones, err! I mean diamonds. While my wife was busy appreciating the beauty of the jewelries studded with stone-ah again, I mean the diamonds-I was familiarizing with the technicalities like carats, cutting of the diamonds, countries of origin of the diamonds, the world trading center Antwerp in Belgium.

Lastly I started asking the prices of each diamond confidently, without sweating or shaking, ready to hear the astronomical prices. After hearing the prices I had a shock & awe effect and it set me thinking about the careers which will make it possible to buy such diamonds happily!

My wife bought a small piece of jewelry without the diamond stone, knowing fully well that I am a LNI, for the uninitiated LNI is Low Net worth Individual as against HNI. I proceeded to pay the small amount at the counter where I saw a person elder to me. I smiled at him but he could not smile back and I saw some sweat drops on him and was surprised as it was a very well air-conditioned shop.

With a corner of my eye I saw the Bill amount he was about to pay, which was Rs 19,95,000 !.So everything fell into place! I remembered this was for the diamond set which I had appreciated and laughed it off after hearing the price. Obviously this man could not laugh it off! If I had given my shoulder in men’s room, may be he would have cried!

Then it struck me that such big shops selling diamond jewelries (and ruining the life of men!) should have a separate men’s room with sofa & a mini bar, to usher in the men after making payment and given a shoulder to cry. If the purchase amount is high they should be allowed to have a quick drink on the house to drown their sorrow! Care should be taken to see that the sales man who has sold the expensive jewelry should not enter men’s room to avert a mayhem!  The shop should be able to recognize the rare breed of men who buy diamonds for their wives and yet be happy, which may be very few in a year phenomenon!

The men’s room concept can also be thought of by the big brands like Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Fendi  etc which sell bags for Rs 24,95,000 upwards.These companies should have a policy of making money with mercy, on men to make the pain bearable after the sale!

Happy shopping!


Coffee shop for the young at heart.

My great business idea!

I love to have coffee on impulse. So one day on impulse I entered a coffee shop to get some coffee. I was surprised by the average age of the crowd, which was around 17 years and it shot up to 23 years after I entered, with me almost nearing 60.

Everywhere we- the young at heart- go, we are outnumbered by the bubbly, boisterous youngsters. Then I decided to do something about it and had my eureka moment. I hit upon an idea to start a coffee shop exclusively for the young at heart. (Age being right side of 40 to wrong side of 70!)

But my first problem was how to keep the boisterous youngsters out of my coffee shop. Great idea strikes to me and I realized it is such an easy thing.

Firstly in the coffee shop I will play very melodious songs of all genres. These youngsters who are used to listening to talking songs (hip hop), will feel extremely distressed after listening to the very melodious songs. They may not last more than 2 minutes in my coffee shop.

Next I will make sure that all my employees wear very neatly pressed clothes-both informal & semi-formal-totally avoiding any piece cloth of jeans. The youngsters who feel comfortable around people wearing jeans- faded , not so faded, frequently washed or rarely washed, fashionably torn- will feel extremely distressed and feel they have come to a coffee shop of stone age!

If the above two tricks do not work, and the youngsters stay for more than five minutes, then the final trick will kick in. The jamming device in the coffee shop will be activated as an emergency, which will make the coffee shop free of any signals except the human signals. With cell phones not receiving any signals, within 60 seconds extreme form of distress will set in and the youngsters will run for their signals, which will be out of my coffee shop. They dare not enter my coffee shop for even takeaway (or is it “to go”)?

With youngsters making way for the older people, they can enjoy their coffee chatting to their friends in calm and serene ambiance, listening to melodious music of all genres.

I will name the coffee shop as “Right side of Eighty!”